Bigtop of Haruhi Suzumiya
by jamieth
Summary: After sport, cinema and music, what other way of having fun in a "normal way" will Haruhi invent?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

I was sitting in the clubroom, thinking for the thousandth time about why I even still go there every day. Well, usually I have at least one reason to do it, and a very important reason; that day, however, Asahina-san was excused from her duty as SOS Brigade's resident maid and tea-maker, at the Tsuruya's request. In addition, Koizumi was on a class duty, and the Computer Research Society borrowed Yuki again, so I was all alone. Ah, but what about our fearless leader, you ask? Well, I can tell you that was no mystery; she told me to go ahead, and wait in the clubroom as she needed to retrieve something.

Needless to say, that did nothing to improve my mood; that could only mean that Haruhi had another of her crazy ideas, and I know all too well that her ideas usually mean another world of pain and suffering for me. Oh, well, I could only hope that particular one would be on a school-destroying - as opposed to Universe-destroying - scale.

The door handle clicked. I deduced that must be Nagato, since Koizumi, for all his faults, would never open the door without knocking first (and for a good reason, I must add), and Haruhi, while not caring about anyone's privacy in the slightest, usually moves with such a vigor that her steps can be heard from the other side of the corridor.

My reasoning was proven wrong, however, as the door opened and the Brigade's Commander rode inside the room.

Yes, you read that right; I said "rode", for Haruhi was sitting on a rather peculiar device. It had a saddle just like a bicycle, and the pedals, but it still differed from a normal bicycle just as the problems in my sister's Math book differ from the one I have to solve. For starters, it lacked the chain going from the pedals to the wheel. Nor was there a handlebar, nor, for that matter, a second wheel to attach it to.

OK, I guess there is nothing really peculiar about a unicycle, you most probably saw it at least sometimes. Maybe you even can ride one; I can't, but it can't be that hard, since some schools even teach that at the PE. So, obviously, the fact that Haruhi of all people does have that skill should come as no surprise; actually, I'd probably be more surprised to learn that she, for some reason, can't. That, still, did nothing to answer the main question that was bothering me: WHY!?

"Why not", Haruhi replied, riding around the room and stopping besides her commander's chair, pushing the unicycle back and forth slightly to keep her balance, "I even checked the school rules, you know, and while it does forbid running in the halls-"

Yeah, like THAT has ever stopped you!

"-and using bikes inside, there is not a single word about unicycles."

Obviously, since people who wrote these rules never even had the idea of doing something like this. No one but you could.

I have to notice that Haruhi left the door to the clubroom wide open; apparently, even Koizumi took that as a permission to enter, since he didn't knock.

Well, I have to admit; the look of surprise on his face was a nice compensation for my own state of shock. He recovered fast, however, and in merely seconds our resident esper's face was bearing his trademark smug smile. "Ah, I see! Well, it is a wonderful idea, Suzumiya-san!"

What exactly wonderful is there about it? At that moment, I noticed he wasn't really looking at Haruhi herself, but rather at her arm, outstretched to the side for better balance. Come to think of it, something did look wrong, or, rather, unusual... Ah, right. Haruhi's armband. In place of her usual one, indicating her position as a "Brigade Chief", she was wearing a new red band of cloth. She often does this whenever she invents a new role for herself. I remember that time she was was wearing a "Great Detective" one, it took a miracle - literally - to get all of us out of that alive. And let me not even start about the "Super Director" one... If one tried to put all the mess we went through that time to the video, it would take no less than five episodes.

But I digress. The armband Haruhi was currently wearing certainly was an ill omen as well, for my mental and physical health at least, for it was reading, in large, clear letters,-

**THE RINGMASTER**


	2. Chapter 2

No need to say, I, unlike Koizumi, didn't find that idea wonderful in the slightest; not that my opinion would mean anything, of course - as soon as Haruhi sets her mind on something, the only thing I can do is try to keep her antics from going too far beyond the limits of reason. Keeping her within these limits is utterly impossible. Seriously, I dare you to try for a change.

- Just to be sure, let me ask you one thing. By writing "ringmaster", did you mean a person who's in charge of a circus troupe?

- Of course! What other meaning can there be? Or did you think of a chief of some illegal crime gang? That would be ringleader, Kyon, ringreader! Try to remember it!

Eh, I do know that, actually... It just that I can't help feeling that this latter one would fit you better. Not that I would say it aloud, of course.

- So, do you, by chance, have a troupe to be in charge of? - Come to think of it, I probably shouldn't have asked that, either, not when the answer is so obvious...

- Of course! That would be you! - See, I told you. It's obvious.

- I hate to disppoint you, but there is one problem... You see, I can't speak for everyone, obviously, but most people, me included, lack skills needed to perform in a circus.

- Don't be ridiculous! Of course I don't expect you to do it right now! We have two weeks left, that should be plenty of time to prepare an act or two! When I was seriously thinking about running away from home to join the traveling circus...

Stop, stop, stop! Leaving that remark about "seriously thinking about running away from home to join the traveling circus" aside, two weeks left before what?!

- Ah, didn't you hear? - Haruhi pulled something out of her pocket. From the look of it, it was a flyer of some kind... Again. Oh, well. I really should have expected this...

- Please let me explain this, Suzumiya-san, - Koizumi interrupted her, - there will be a festival in about two weeks. Not the traditional one, held at the shrine, but rather... You can think of it as a city-wide version of a school cultural festival. Anyone can take part, as long as they pay the entrance fee. So, I can assume that Suzumiya-san wants the SOS Brigade to participate in the festival with a circus performance. Am I right, Suzumiya-san?

- Exactly! - Haruhi jumped to the floor and raised her fist, grinning widely, - You're a truly perceptive Vice-Commander! We'll make a show they'll never forget!

- And what do you plan to do with that entrance fee? However you spin it, there's no way you can spend the Literature Club funds for that!

- Oh, don't worry, our honorary advisor offered to cover that, and all the necessary equipment, too. I'll make her my senior assistant for that, of course.

"Our honorary advisor", that would be Tsuruya-san, of course, apparently the only person on this planet who genuinely likes Haruhi's crazy ideas. So, you told her already?

- Of course! Did you think I'll plan something like this without making sure it's possible first?!

Honestly speaking, yes, that is exactly what I expected you to do.

- But really, what are this Computer Research Society guys are thinking, holding our precious member for so long? - said Haruhi furiously, looking at her watch, - Damn, can't they see I'm busy?! Ah, well, Kyon, Koizumi, explain everything to Yuki when she gets here. Also, think about what your acts will be, the first rehearsal is tomorrow after school, the gym will be free!

Of course it would be free, no one uses it on Saturdays!

Mounting her unicycle again, Haruhi stormed out of the room. For some time, I was wondering how would she deal with the fact that our clubroom is on the third floor, but, honestly, it takes something more than some stairs to stop Haruhi. It certainly takes someone more capable than myself, too.

- So, - I looked at Koizumi, - why didn't you say say something for a change? Do you not care about what freaky stuff can come out from Haruhi deciding something like that?

- On the contrary, I believe that we actually have a very valuable chance here, - Koizumi whispered, leaning closer towards me than I found comfortable. - Lately, Suzumiya-san's level of psychological pressure started to rise again. No, no, I'm not saying it's your fault; in fact, you're doing a splendid work of keeping her in check, but still. Therefore, I believe there is a probability of a large-scale incident being caused by Suzumiya-san within the next month.

- And how this idea of hers would help you stop this incident?

- Well, maybe not stop completely, but certainly minimize the damage. Do you remember what you did when her powers started going out of hand during the filming of that movie? Well, it's the same here. Since circus is, by definition, all about weird, unusual, and even flatly impossible things happening, should anything happen there, it would be much easier for Suzumiya-san's subconscious to justify it without damaging her perception of reality. Well, it is just a hypothesis, of course... Ah, hello, Nagato-san!

Our silent guardian angel entered the clubroom and proceeded to her usual place in the corner. After me and Koizumi told her about Haruhi's plan, she nodded slightly.

- So... Will you be able to come up with an act before tomorrow? - I asked warily.

Another nod.

Well, I admitted to myself, remembering Nagato's guitar skills during the school festival, the question is not whether she can do it, but rather... - Just try to keep it within human limits, OK?

"I will", Yuki said quietly and opened a book. Well, I guess we're safe on that side. The rest, on the other hand...

As I already said, I don't have any circus-related skills, and I'm sure nor does Asahiha-sempai; as for Koizumi...

- Actually, - he said, - I am somewhat familiar with card tricks, and other simple stage magic...

Hey, stop reading my thoughts! I know your esper abilities don't include telepathy!

...and I have some other ideas, though that would require Asahina-san's permission... And a clearance from her superiors, - Koizumi finished.

I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

- Oh, let me assure you, nothing I'm thinking about would put Asahina-san's health, nor her dignity, in any kind of risk. I can't say the same about your dignity – or, in fact, health – should you fail to think of your own act, though.

Oh, shut up.


End file.
